Out with the old, in with the new. Yes, the farmers have are now sporting a bold new look for the 2005 season. Snap up those old helmets quick because when the Fighting Farmers win the Blue Ox Bowl this year they're going to be collector's items.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Bold New Look Farmers
Out with the old, in with the new. Yes, the farmers have are now sporting a bold new look for the 2005 season. Snap up those old helmets quick because when the Fighting Farmers win the Blue Ox Bowl this year they're going to be collector's items.
Fighting Farmers Lineup
QB Brandon please don't chop down that Kirsche Baum
QB Blake super Powers
RB Brian states rights Calhoun
RB Gary you can't Russell me down
WR Jason Avant garde
WR Santonio Holmes on the range
WR Kyle In green ham and eggs
K Kyle Schlicher than my sister in law on a friday night
Friday, September 16, 2005
Big Ten neighborhood continued
As I was in a rush yesterday I did not have time to fully present Illinois so let me finish them before moving on. The key thing to understand about Illinois is that they are the hidden neighbor, the silent and infrequently seen member of the community. You rarely see Illinois and wonder how their lawn gets mowed or snow gets shoveled. You speculate that they have dug a tunnel under their house so they do not have to use the door (or maybe for dead bodies). Illinois is the neighbor that you sometimes get the urge to walk up to their window and look inside just to see what it looks like and see if anyone is alive. Its difficult to form a stong opinion of someone you never notice and Illinois is certainly the quiet, mysterious resident on the block. I ask you -did you notice when they won the Big Ten a few years ago and did you notice that they sucked before and after that- i didn't think so. Yes, Illinois is the hermit in the neighborhood and generally I do not have anything aganist hermits - in fact sometimes I am jealous of hermits- but I cannot say that I am crazy about them either. I guess they do not put up right wing lawn signs or use my yard for a dumping ground like that red-neck iowa so that ranks them somewhere in the middle of my list. But usually when you are looking for Illinois you find Penn State instead. You see Penn State is fairly new to the neighborhood. Actually, Penn State is not really in the neighborhood but a funny thing happened recently, Penn State decided to move to just outside the neighborhood and built a nice new house a couple blocks away. He came from somewhere out east and immediately made an impact on this neighborhood with his brash style. Penn State is one of those work-out freaks and health nuts. He likes to listen to "the final countdown" by Europe while he pumps iron in his garage with his shirt off. Then when he is good and worked up he likes to jog around the neighborhood as if to show everyone how tough he is. You find this vanity annoying and a bit comical but the truth is Penn State really wants to be sexy and sophisticated like the Michigan's and Ohio State's. Unfortunately, Penn State is butt ugly and clumsy, and he sadly tries to compenstate for his lack of good looks and charm by creating an impressively carved body. So you always see Penn State jogging around the neighborhood flexing his muscles and hoping to impress the rest of the neighborhood- especially the Michigan's and Ohio States. Its not that Penn State cannot compete financially with Michigan and Ohio State in the neighborhood- Northwestern told you a rumor that Penn State has wealthy connections back east- but he makes bad investments and cannot sustain the success of Michigan or Ohio State. Further, Penn State is the neighbor that wants everyone else to help him but he doesn't want to help anyone else. He thinks he can still beat up anyone in the Neighborhood even though his glory days are well behind him and it strikes you as someone that is still living in denial. At first, everyone was intimidated by this ugly hulk, but soon enough we found out that Penn State is more bark than bite. Sometimes when you see Penn State jogging by you want to yell out "hey rocky, when's the fight!" Penn State spends so much time on diet and exercise that he knows and cares little about politics. He probably works as some kind of a skilled machinist or mechanic because he makes good money and has a "buy American" bumper sticker on his Ford F150. This also makes you think he must be sympathetic to unions, but he is more the Jimmy Hoffa unionist type than the Harry Bridges or Bill Haywood unionist type. After talking to him for a bit you realize that he certainly voted for Reagan in the 80s because Reagan wanted to kick the Russians ass and Penn State thought that was a good idea, and then he voted for Clinton in the 90s because Clinton was good with the women and Penn State thinks he is too. He voted for Bush in 2000 because Gore was too political but then voted Kerry in 2004 because our jobs were leaving the country. Then after reflecting a bit more you believe that he probably did not vote at all- he is more A-political than anything else. On the other hand, Penn State did invite you into his house once to show you his beer can collection. It was a nice gesture but it made you think that maybe Penn State has a drinking problem. In the end, you like Penn State's unionist sympathies and feel he can be persuaded to vote properly and you appreciate his hospitality so you are more willing to embace him as one of the good ones in the neighborhood. But he is prone to binge drinking enduced rages and embarrassing public displays, like the time he ran around the block in his underwear shouting "who stole my Rogaine!" This type of behavior makes you tread lightly around Penn State and you know that for all his working class toys and performace he is still closer in status and financial capacity to Michigan than you. This causes you to have a cautiously favorable opinion of Penn State but in your mind he will always be something of an outsider and a potential enemy in the future. You prefer the stability and safety of MSU over the volitility of Penn State if forced to choose.
And speaking of outsiders, one of my favorite visitors to the Neihborhood is Iowa State. She drops by once in a while as she is the poor step-sister to Iowa. She lives in a place called the Big 12 a much worse neighborhood than ours- you are glad you don't live there- but you wish that Iowa State would move to our neighborhood. You see Iowa State lives closer to you than Penn State and she sometimes drops by to see Iowa- actually to argue and fight with Iowa as they do not get along. When you see Iowa State you feel a sense of happiness and solidarity becuase she shares your hatred of Iowa. Iowa is always bad mouthing Iowa state to their parents. Plus you are kind of sweet on Iowa State- she has that attractive red hair and she drives a honda civic like you. She has the DX model though while you have the LX model so she is no threat to your sexist ego. You imagine having a fling with Iowa State but then catch yourself and feel guilty for objectifying Iowa State, it is something that Penn State would do and you feel ashamed of yourself. But you really like Iowa State and get a bit jealous when Wisconsin says hi to her. You especially like to watch Iowa State fight with Iowa, she knows all his weak spots and its fun to watch the racist, confederate flying, gun rack carrying, rat faced cheater get taken doen a peg by Iowa State. You wish Iowa State would stay longer and hold out hope that one day she will move into the hood but for now you take pleasure in watching her make iowa suffer.
So my list so far is MN, North, WIS, MSU, PSU, ILL, IND, PUR, IA
Mich and OSU will have to wait until next time
And speaking of outsiders, one of my favorite visitors to the Neihborhood is Iowa State. She drops by once in a while as she is the poor step-sister to Iowa. She lives in a place called the Big 12 a much worse neighborhood than ours- you are glad you don't live there- but you wish that Iowa State would move to our neighborhood. You see Iowa State lives closer to you than Penn State and she sometimes drops by to see Iowa- actually to argue and fight with Iowa as they do not get along. When you see Iowa State you feel a sense of happiness and solidarity becuase she shares your hatred of Iowa. Iowa is always bad mouthing Iowa state to their parents. Plus you are kind of sweet on Iowa State- she has that attractive red hair and she drives a honda civic like you. She has the DX model though while you have the LX model so she is no threat to your sexist ego. You imagine having a fling with Iowa State but then catch yourself and feel guilty for objectifying Iowa State, it is something that Penn State would do and you feel ashamed of yourself. But you really like Iowa State and get a bit jealous when Wisconsin says hi to her. You especially like to watch Iowa State fight with Iowa, she knows all his weak spots and its fun to watch the racist, confederate flying, gun rack carrying, rat faced cheater get taken doen a peg by Iowa State. You wish Iowa State would stay longer and hold out hope that one day she will move into the hood but for now you take pleasure in watching her make iowa suffer.
So my list so far is MN, North, WIS, MSU, PSU, ILL, IND, PUR, IA
Mich and OSU will have to wait until next time
Coach Jay Prepares for Who?
Goodger Coach Wendelberger seemed oblivious to the significance of this week’s match up of undefeated league leaders in the BTFFL.
Full Story Page 6
Full Story Page 6
Week 3 Pick-Ups Now Posted
There were no pick-ups by the midnight deadline....and only 2 late pick-ups. There's really nobody out there right now.
Michigan State's Teague might play against Notre Dame
Teague, who had been suspended for last week's game against Hawaii, is on the travel and dress lists for Saturday's trip to No. 10 Notre Dame, Michigan State associate athletic director John Lewandowski said Thursday. Teague is not listed on the team's depth chart, so it remains to be seen how much playing time he might get. Jehuu Caulcrick is listed as the starter at running back, with Javon Ringer listed second.
Coach John L. Smith had said Teague had been suspended for undisclosed reasons.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
the big ten neighborhood
Since I did not have time to respond to the question about loving/hating Big Ten teams earlier I thought I would catch up by offering my response in the form of an analogy/metaphor.
I see the Big ten as a neigborhood. Minnesota is me (here is the metaphor part). They are always poor, although they are not usually the poorest in the hood. They live in a modest, moderately shabby house- usually are miserable and suffer unjustly-never have any real success although at times it appears they might. Once in a great while they stir and have a binge of mild success and then it all comes crashing down as quickly as it rose before reaching a high level- like when the furnace blows out or you choke against Michigan two years in a row. This experence just intensifies the suffering and magnifies the long history of struggle and failure. And like me, the gophers are frustrating, annoying, seemingly hopeless and always unrecognized in the hood, and they rarely get support or positive affirmation. They are simply the working-class part of the hood that struggles just well enough not to be poor but not well enough to be respected in the hood. All this makes them by far the most lovable team in the Big Ten.
After an enormous drop off then comes
Northwestern
they are like the neighbor that lives across the street and about three houses down on the corner lot. They have a sizable lot so you think they might be rich but the house is small and kinda run down -usually- worse than yours-and although they have some yuppie trappings around - like wine tasting parties in the backyard- (you suspect they are well educated intellectuals that work for a well-funded, socially conscious, non-profit group) they also put up the Green party candidate yard sign every two years and when you encounter them you agree on politics and the feeling that the Michigan and Ohio State houses have oppressed the Neighborhood for too damn long. So in the end you like them and consider them an ally of sorts on the block.
On the opposite end of teh spectrum is your most hated member of the community- as luck would have it your next door neighbor- Iowa.
They are like the racist next door that puts the Buchanan yard sign up every year. And to make matters worse they always listen to the O'Rielly factor too loud and their dog shits on your lawn every day. They are working class like me but have a little bit better paying job than me and make fun of your clothes, house and cat every chance they get. Even their friends and relatives are annoying and find a way to damage your house. Basically Iowa are obnoxious pigs and you wish they would move or better yet -for humanities sake- die.
Living on the other side of you/me(minnesota) is Wisconsin.
They are a better next door neighbor than iowa (they don't like Iowa much either). They share your political outlook-generally- and they keep their dog in their yard. once in a while you invite them over for a drink and you say hi to them everytime you see them. Occassionally they throw wild parties that go on too long and they let their leaves blow into your yard and this annoys you bitterly but overall you like them and wish them well. Number two on my list behind northwestern.
Then there are the two middle class neighbors - Michigan State and Purdue. they both have larger houses and much better jobs than you. They live close to the Michigans and Ohio States down the street near the top of the hill. You never really talk to either one of them but you can tell from their toys and decorations that you like MSU much more than Purdue. For one thing, MSU is clearly a Clinton Democrat and sometimes strays into the gephardt camp. They like cats and hand out candy on Halloween. Purdue on the other hand, supports our troops and backs Bush. They have two pit bulls and drive a Yukon. The only thing that separates Purdue from iowa in your/my mind is that they don't live so close to you and they are more of the "technology is our savior types" and iowa is more of the "god hates fags" type.
Indiana is the guy that lives next to Purdue and he manages a resturant - never graduated high school and works two jobs. he is poorer than you and you feel sorry for him. he lives in the worst house in the neighborhood and always looks tired and sad. The problem with Indiana is that he feels so emasculated and insecure that he votes republican in hopes of achieving some kind of masculine residue in the process of voting for the "tough guys" instead of those pussy liberals( you suspect he beats his wife too). So you feel sorry for Indiana and realize he is in a similar situation to yours but on the other hand his politics push you away and you are left with a feeling of bewildering ambiguity towards indiana.
Then there is Illinois.
This is the crazy neighbor. At one time he had 4 cars and two boats and then suddenly he sold them all. You suspect he is either a serial killer or a drug dealer because his mood and material sitiation is all over the place. One day up the next day way down. he is usually pretty nice to you and causes no trouble in the hood but for some reason he hates Northwestern- his neighbor. Basically Illinois elicits no strong feelings from you in general but you feel safer trusting Michigan State then Illinois.
to be continued...
I see the Big ten as a neigborhood. Minnesota is me (here is the metaphor part). They are always poor, although they are not usually the poorest in the hood. They live in a modest, moderately shabby house- usually are miserable and suffer unjustly-never have any real success although at times it appears they might. Once in a great while they stir and have a binge of mild success and then it all comes crashing down as quickly as it rose before reaching a high level- like when the furnace blows out or you choke against Michigan two years in a row. This experence just intensifies the suffering and magnifies the long history of struggle and failure. And like me, the gophers are frustrating, annoying, seemingly hopeless and always unrecognized in the hood, and they rarely get support or positive affirmation. They are simply the working-class part of the hood that struggles just well enough not to be poor but not well enough to be respected in the hood. All this makes them by far the most lovable team in the Big Ten.
After an enormous drop off then comes
Northwestern
they are like the neighbor that lives across the street and about three houses down on the corner lot. They have a sizable lot so you think they might be rich but the house is small and kinda run down -usually- worse than yours-and although they have some yuppie trappings around - like wine tasting parties in the backyard- (you suspect they are well educated intellectuals that work for a well-funded, socially conscious, non-profit group) they also put up the Green party candidate yard sign every two years and when you encounter them you agree on politics and the feeling that the Michigan and Ohio State houses have oppressed the Neighborhood for too damn long. So in the end you like them and consider them an ally of sorts on the block.
On the opposite end of teh spectrum is your most hated member of the community- as luck would have it your next door neighbor- Iowa.
They are like the racist next door that puts the Buchanan yard sign up every year. And to make matters worse they always listen to the O'Rielly factor too loud and their dog shits on your lawn every day. They are working class like me but have a little bit better paying job than me and make fun of your clothes, house and cat every chance they get. Even their friends and relatives are annoying and find a way to damage your house. Basically Iowa are obnoxious pigs and you wish they would move or better yet -for humanities sake- die.
Living on the other side of you/me(minnesota) is Wisconsin.
They are a better next door neighbor than iowa (they don't like Iowa much either). They share your political outlook-generally- and they keep their dog in their yard. once in a while you invite them over for a drink and you say hi to them everytime you see them. Occassionally they throw wild parties that go on too long and they let their leaves blow into your yard and this annoys you bitterly but overall you like them and wish them well. Number two on my list behind northwestern.
Then there are the two middle class neighbors - Michigan State and Purdue. they both have larger houses and much better jobs than you. They live close to the Michigans and Ohio States down the street near the top of the hill. You never really talk to either one of them but you can tell from their toys and decorations that you like MSU much more than Purdue. For one thing, MSU is clearly a Clinton Democrat and sometimes strays into the gephardt camp. They like cats and hand out candy on Halloween. Purdue on the other hand, supports our troops and backs Bush. They have two pit bulls and drive a Yukon. The only thing that separates Purdue from iowa in your/my mind is that they don't live so close to you and they are more of the "technology is our savior types" and iowa is more of the "god hates fags" type.
Indiana is the guy that lives next to Purdue and he manages a resturant - never graduated high school and works two jobs. he is poorer than you and you feel sorry for him. he lives in the worst house in the neighborhood and always looks tired and sad. The problem with Indiana is that he feels so emasculated and insecure that he votes republican in hopes of achieving some kind of masculine residue in the process of voting for the "tough guys" instead of those pussy liberals( you suspect he beats his wife too). So you feel sorry for Indiana and realize he is in a similar situation to yours but on the other hand his politics push you away and you are left with a feeling of bewildering ambiguity towards indiana.
Then there is Illinois.
This is the crazy neighbor. At one time he had 4 cars and two boats and then suddenly he sold them all. You suspect he is either a serial killer or a drug dealer because his mood and material sitiation is all over the place. One day up the next day way down. he is usually pretty nice to you and causes no trouble in the hood but for some reason he hates Northwestern- his neighbor. Basically Illinois elicits no strong feelings from you in general but you feel safer trusting Michigan State then Illinois.
to be continued...
Spitfires Prepare for Goblins
(photo) Spitfires in action in week 2 at home vs. Bucky's Goodgers
Doesn't that Halifax Crowd look amazing? The "Orange Fur," as the Halifax student section is referred to, is known as the largest and best student section in the league.
The Spitfires take to the road again in week 3 against the Golden Goblins in desperate need of a win. "0-3 is not a situation we want to put ourselves in," a fiesty coach Carhart said in a very brief press conference today. "Hey look, nobody wants to win more than me. We're doing all we can and we're still in this thing,' he said.
Clash of the Titans
This weekend, the last two undefeated teams in the Blue Ox league will face off in a battle of epic proportions. Coach Jay's perfect season is on the line against the resurgent Fighting Farmers led by Coach/GM Kennedy. While Coach K's team has been consistent so far in all aspects of its game, Coach Kennedy will tell you he's still not happy. In a recent interview with Coach Kennedy:
Reporter- You're team looks pretty solid going into this match-up Coach Kennedy, how would you asses your team so far?
Coach K-"We still need more production out of our running game. Our special teams haven't been all that special so far this season either."
Reporter- How about some of the positives?
Coach K- "We'll, Blake Powers has really come on for us, and to be honest, I really didn't expect that kind of production out of him this early. But don't forget, this is still the nonconference schedule and things could change once we hit the regular season. We also got damn lucky last week. If Roberson hadn't got hurt early we might not need luck at this point in the season."
Reporter- How about that passing game, it's been pretty good so far?
Coach K- "Considering we can rack up the yardage, yes. But you've probably noticed we don't have too many receiving touchdowns and that needs to change."
Reporter- What can you tell me about Brian Calhoun?
Coach K- "Brian, ya' know...He's our workhorse. He still needs to pick it up a bit. After the first game that SOB had just ripped up the league, but after 40+ carries, I thought we'd rest em' a bit agaisnt Temple. Don't worry though, if he doesn't get at least 30 carries against Carolina, we won't win the game, and I'll like like a f*$king idiot. Besides, if he's going to insure my legacy before I retire I need him to win the Heisman. Ohhhh, he'll get some carries!"
Reporter- Did I hear you say retirement?
Coach K- "What the hell did you just say? Get that piece of sh!*t microphone out of my face and get the hell out of here! I was refering too another coach in that other league. Now get out of my office, this interiew is over."
Reporter- Wait, wait! Please just one more question...Do you really think the Fighting Famers are up to the challenge of beating the Blue Ox Bowl reigning champions?
Coach K- "Challenge? Hell yeah we're up to the challenge. Why the hell do you think I'm in this business? If you can't get you're team up for the game of their lives, you better seek out another career! Now I've got two more days to prepare my team to beat the snot out of these God-forsaken, cheating, bastards. Wait a minute, I didn't mean that. I've got a heck of a lot of respect for Jay and his Goodgers, we're just sick and tired of his damn name all over that freakin' trophy. Now we're finished."
As you can see by this interview, Coach Kennedy certainly is hot under the collar. He's been just punishing his players in practice this week getting them ready for the game of the century against the Goodgers. The Farmers will need Herculean efforts out of each and every one of his starters this week to win out against the Bucky's Goodgers, but his team appears to be up to the task.
Reporter- You're team looks pretty solid going into this match-up Coach Kennedy, how would you asses your team so far?
Coach K-"We still need more production out of our running game. Our special teams haven't been all that special so far this season either."
Reporter- How about some of the positives?
Coach K- "We'll, Blake Powers has really come on for us, and to be honest, I really didn't expect that kind of production out of him this early. But don't forget, this is still the nonconference schedule and things could change once we hit the regular season. We also got damn lucky last week. If Roberson hadn't got hurt early we might not need luck at this point in the season."
Reporter- How about that passing game, it's been pretty good so far?
Coach K- "Considering we can rack up the yardage, yes. But you've probably noticed we don't have too many receiving touchdowns and that needs to change."
Reporter- What can you tell me about Brian Calhoun?
Coach K- "Brian, ya' know...He's our workhorse. He still needs to pick it up a bit. After the first game that SOB had just ripped up the league, but after 40+ carries, I thought we'd rest em' a bit agaisnt Temple. Don't worry though, if he doesn't get at least 30 carries against Carolina, we won't win the game, and I'll like like a f*$king idiot. Besides, if he's going to insure my legacy before I retire I need him to win the Heisman. Ohhhh, he'll get some carries!"
Reporter- Did I hear you say retirement?
Coach K- "What the hell did you just say? Get that piece of sh!*t microphone out of my face and get the hell out of here! I was refering too another coach in that other league. Now get out of my office, this interiew is over."
Reporter- Wait, wait! Please just one more question...Do you really think the Fighting Famers are up to the challenge of beating the Blue Ox Bowl reigning champions?
Coach K- "Challenge? Hell yeah we're up to the challenge. Why the hell do you think I'm in this business? If you can't get you're team up for the game of their lives, you better seek out another career! Now I've got two more days to prepare my team to beat the snot out of these God-forsaken, cheating, bastards. Wait a minute, I didn't mean that. I've got a heck of a lot of respect for Jay and his Goodgers, we're just sick and tired of his damn name all over that freakin' trophy. Now we're finished."
As you can see by this interview, Coach Kennedy certainly is hot under the collar. He's been just punishing his players in practice this week getting them ready for the game of the century against the Goodgers. The Farmers will need Herculean efforts out of each and every one of his starters this week to win out against the Bucky's Goodgers, but his team appears to be up to the task.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Who do you love...and hate?
I was thinking this past weekend....who do I really hate in the big ten? So I decided to make a list ranking the Big Ten teams in order of most beloved to most hated. This list s only a reflection of my like and hate towards these football teams and not neccesarily a reflection on my feelings towards that school in general or its other sports teams....although that is taken into consideration.
1. Minnesota (duh)
2. Northwestern
3. Michigan State
4. Illinois
5. Penn State
6. Indiana
7. Michigan
8. Ohio State
9. Purdue
10. Iowa
11. Wisconsin
1. Minnesota (duh)
2. Northwestern
3. Michigan State
4. Illinois
5. Penn State
6. Indiana
7. Michigan
8. Ohio State
9. Purdue
10. Iowa
11. Wisconsin
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Week 2 Scores Are Up
Sorry for the delay...hopefully I'll have the player rankings updated later today as well.
Buckeyes to start Smith against San Diego State
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — It would be hard to say Justin Zwick's late fumble cost Ohio State the game in Saturday's 25-22 loss to No. 2 Texas, but it helped him lose his starting job.
Troy Smith, who alternated duties under center with Zwick, will get most of the practice work with the starting offense this week and will start Saturday against San Diego State, Buckeyes coach Jim Tressel said Monday.
"We're going into this week with the thought in mind that Troy will be the quarterback and have the most significant number of reps in practice, perhaps 75 percent to 80 percent," Tressel said on the Buckeye Roundtable radio show.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
No Scores Today: Network Problems
Sorry guys, no scores today. I went to the census to do the scores this morning and the network was down. I couldn't get on the internet and I can't update the website when the network is down anyway. I won't be able to do it tomorrow either, as I have the day off, so I probably won't get it done until late Tuesday. Sorry for the delay, but I'm pretty sure the Goodgers and Goblins won.
Jay's Power Rankings Week 2
1. Purdue -- the 2 greatest words in the English language: De Fault!
2. Ohio State -- Can you say "CHOKE?"
3. Wisconsin -- Dark Horse looking less dark
4. Minnesota -- I thought they might falter against CSU
5. Michigan State -- Can they keep it up?
6. Iowa -- Tate?
7. Michigan -- ND is not that good, w/o Hart, Michigan worse
8. Northwestern -- Should have lost
9. Penn State -- Could improve
10. Illinois -- Clearly better than Indiana
11. Indiana -- Almost lost to hurricane ravaged D2 team!
2. Ohio State -- Can you say "CHOKE?"
3. Wisconsin -- Dark Horse looking less dark
4. Minnesota -- I thought they might falter against CSU
5. Michigan State -- Can they keep it up?
6. Iowa -- Tate?
7. Michigan -- ND is not that good, w/o Hart, Michigan worse
8. Northwestern -- Should have lost
9. Penn State -- Could improve
10. Illinois -- Clearly better than Indiana
11. Indiana -- Almost lost to hurricane ravaged D2 team!
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