Farmers Line Up Week 10

QB Henne
RB Caulcrick
RB Wells
RB Hunt
WR Ginn
WR Williams
WR Beckum
K Kelley

Students Shut Down Campus; Goodgers Game Unaffected

Bucky Beatwriter

On the eve of the 2006 off year elections students at the University have effectively shut down the campus. Anti-war activists have taken over Malcolm X Hall and the John Brown administration complex and have refused to allow the campus to function as normal until, they say, “we bring an end to this ***ing war and this power mad Bush. Bush and his corrupt cronies have got to go. This is the only power the people have ever had, direct action to bring down militarists and fascists who use their power against the many.” Truer words have never been spoken.

There is a long history of student activism on the campus and it is considered by many to be the most open, democratic and egalitarian colleges in the world. Last year, the college drew national headlines when it expanded its free book program to include laptop and desktop computers for all of its students. In addition to this fantasy, it also has a very good Big ten Fantasy Football team. Bucky’s Goodgers have won 3 BTFFL Blue Ox Bowls over the last three years and they are in a dogfight this year to re-re-repeat.

Student activist have not shut down Emancipation Stadium, the site of today’s big showdown in the BTFFL between the school’s beloved Goodgers and the BTFFLs resurgent Halifax Spitfires. In the same three years that the Goodgers have been so dominant, the Spitfires have been at the bottom of the conference. Last year Spitz and company managed just one win, a week 10 victory against the Farmers, before bowing out meekly in the year ending Gopher Bowl to sibling rival Golden Goblins. This year, Spitz is sitting at 5-4, having won in exciting fashion last week on the late game heroics of star Running Back Tony Pittman. That game went to overtime and the 90-90 result may be the difference between a trip to the BOB and a trip to the consolation Gopher Bowl! Now at 5-4 with last week’s win, Spitz sits, or more likely sleeps, in second place in the BTFFL and an inside track on Spitz’s first appearance in the BOB. The two teams will not face each other again this season, so the Goblins have an uphill battle to return to the BOB, although they are currently leading the Spitfires in the crucial tiebreaker of total points.

Today’s Goodger Line-Up, entering Emancipation stadium to “All You Fascists (are bound to lose)”

QB1 Drew “Lincoln’s Secretary of War” Stanton

QB2 Curtis “Lemay was a war criminal” Painter

RB1 Mike “We could have done a lot worse than Gary” Hart (In fact, we did)

RB2 Albert “Never trust anybody over thirty” Young

WR1 Dorion Bryant

WR2 Greg Orton

WR3 Kerry “I, er, ah, er, ah, lost, ah” Reed

K Taylor Melhoff

(I could only rack my brain for so long for a mildly humorous tangential left wing reference for Bryant, Orton, and Melhoff. I give up)

BTFFL Draft 2006: The Worst

And now the worst. A much more abundant harvest this year than the best.

Honorable mentions:

Everyone picked after the 13^th Round except: the kickers, Anthony Gonzalez, CJ Bacher, Adrain Arrington, Alex Daniels and Matt Trannon. That’s 15 picks, just a Dead Sea of BTFFL talent. Even the picks with value are, with one exception, marginal at best.

Dion Butler/Derrick Williams – Golden Goblins, Fighting Farmers, 6^th Round – Picked after Ted Ginn, Jr., these guys were expected to be top 5, top 10 at worst, BTFFL Wide Recievers. They haven’t been completely useless but they have not performed anywhere near expectations. Butler is currently the 12^th ranked WR, Williams 17^th.

Shaun Herbert, Halifax Spitfires, 10^th Round – There are so many bad WR early in the draft, Herbert is just one of them.

Jeremy Scott, Halifax Spitfies, 9^th Round – See Shaun Herbert.

Steve Breaston, Bucky’s Goodgers, 11^th Round. A relatively late round pick but the presence of Anthony Gonzalez and Adrian Arrington haunts the Breaston pick just as it does every other WR selected prior to the 14 the round.

And now the list:

10. The Entire 13^th Round, Carlos Brown, Evan Royster, Shonn Greene and Tim Brasic. -- This round is so bad it makes it as part of the Honorable Mentions and the Top 10. What a waste of a round. Brown no longer on a roster, Brasic lost his job to Juice!, Shonn Greene is the cream of the crop, kicking around the BTFFL and scoring a 25 points over the course of the season and one of our favorite things in the Worst list: Royster. A player still on a roster who has scored zero points in the entire season.

9. Ernie Wheelwright, Fighting Farmers, 8^th Round. -- The 8^th Round rivals the 13^th as the worst in the 2006 BTFFL draft. Wheelwright appeared to be the next in a line of very good Gopher fantasy WR. Instead, to use a sports cliché, his picture should be on a milk carton. Wheels has 15 points in the entire season. Selected over Sims, Mendenhall, Taylor, Caulcrick, Juice!, Payne, Gonzo, Arrington, Daniels.

8. Demetrius McCray, Bucky’s goodgers, 8^th Round – Part of the 8^th Round train wreck. Picked as insurance for Marcus Thigpen. Insurance for Marcus Thigpen! If you want a good laugh say that out loud 5 times in a row. I guarantee you won’t get through 3.

7. Lance Smith, Kevin Grady, EJ Jones, Halifax Spitfires, 6^th, 7^th, and 8^th Rounds – part of a sound strategy that could have paid huge dividends, none of these highly regarded, backup Running Backs has done anything this season. Admittedly, Jones started week 1 and was injured, and Hill injured last week could finally give way to Smith but as of now, these three high round picks have done nothing. Pinnix, picked after Smith and Grady (but not Jones) would have served this team much better and allowed at least one more pick.

6. Chad Henne, Fighting Farmers, 5^th Round – Unfortunately for the Farmers (and as we will see later, the Spitfires), the highly regarded QBs on the board significantly underperformed the less heralded who remained on the board and were value picks later on. Henne chosen before Stocco (12^th Round), Kellen Lewis (undrafted) and Juice! (10^th Round). Henne hasn’t been awful but, in hindsight, both the Farmers and Spitfires invested in several QBs that just were not worth the draft position.

5. Herb Grigsby, Bucky’s Goodgers, 6^th Round – The Goodgers had the best group of keepers in the BTFFL. They watched as every player with real value were picked by the unfortunate Farmers and Spitfires. The Goodgers primary goal entering the draft was to upgrade their WR corps, having held on to two QBs and two RBs. “With the 24^th Pick in the 2006 Big Ten Fantasy Football Draft, the 3 time consecutive Blue Ox Bowl Champion Bucky’s Goodgers select Mario Manningham, WR, Michigan.” That would have been a real pick. Herb Grigsby has produced 0, 5, 3, 0, 4, and 2 points for the reigning BOB champs. Herbie did add a 15 point game after finally being dropped but he remains a terrible, terrible pick a player (Herbie Hint: To play Wide Receiver in American Football you have to be able to catch the ball when it is thrown to you).

4. Anthony Morelli, Halifax Spitfires, 5^th Round – Morelli should read the same as Henne only, oh, I don’t know, 100 times worse. Morelli inherited an offense that produced 4^th highest overall BTFFL scorer Michael Robinson last year and Morelli has been shite! (If you need to you can repeat that last part of the sentence in your best Groundstender Groundskeeper Willie voice). Morelli is only ranked above the Northwestern QB in terms of fantasy points scored. That’s right, Juice! and Kellen Lewis, both players who have not started every game for their respective BT teams, have more fantasy points than Skreech, ah, Morelli.

3. Austin Scott, Golden Goblins, 8^th Round – A terrible pick this year in its own right, Scott has zero points in the BTFFL this year. He is, with the exception of EJ Jones, the highest drafted player to score nothing on the season. He completes the disastrous 8^th Round (joining shitty FFL players and compatriots Jones, Wheelwright, and McCray). Scott gets extra credit for being, as Shawn suggested earlier this year, the biggest bust in BTFFL history for 4 years.

2. Blake Powers, Halifax Spitfires, 3^rd Round – Not much needs to be said here, max Powers lost his job early in the season and has never looked back. He somehow remains on the Spitfires roster. He sucks. But, the $41 pick up dollars spent by the Spitfires on the his replacement, Kellen Lewis, mitigates the investment of the 3^rd pick in Max. But, it must be said, what a team the Spitfires would have if they had had faith in Teddy Ginn, Jr., who stood out like a sore thumb when the Spitfires picked Powers (and, much less of a disappointment Pierre Thomas).

1. Chris “Beanie” Wells, Fighting Farmers, 1^st Round – This is a tough ranking given the situation at the time of the draft but one can’t ignore the fact that the Farmers have been burned, at least for this year and it ain’t looking much better for next (better hope that Tony Pittman and his family need money so he goes pro early even though he certainly should not), by the hype machine that is college football recruiting in 2006. Wells will undoubtedly be a great Running Back at Ohio State, he has already shown enough to understand that. But Pittman has a hold of the starters job with both hands and he is not letting go (unlike Beanie does to often when he’s carrying the football). The pick was understandable given Wells potential, Pittman’s uncertainty and OSUs offense. But he’s a complete bust this year and one has to wonder whether he will even be a keeper next.

BTFFL Draft 2006: The Best

There was a lot more to write about last year. Well, actually there are plenty of bad picks to write about but very few good ones. This year's draft is like a black hole of bad picks. So I'll start out with the top 10 best picks. If I can find 10.

(I found more than 10!)
Honorable mentions:

Rashard Mendenhall, Halifax Spitfires, 9th Round -- Since Juice! has come in Mendenhall has benefitted. Could even sneak into Spitfires Keepers next season.

Greg Orton, Bucky's Goodgers, 12th Round -- Looked pretty good, hampered by injury, limited production.

Jaycen Taylor, Golden Goblins, 10th Round -- frustating Joe Tiller RB, 13th ranked BTFFL Fantasy RB.

CJ Bacher, Bucky's Goodgers, 14th Round -- It has taken almost all year but Bashay looks like he'll be the heir to the pass happy Northwestern offense now that Fitz has figured out that being able to throw the ball accurately and downfield is more important to the spread offense than being able to occasionally run for 13 yards when the play breaks down (see Mike Kafka and Andrew Brewer)

John Stocco, Golden Goblins, 12th Round -- 8th QB selected, 5th highest scoring QB. Good, not great value.

And on to the list:

10. Alex Daniels Fighting Farmers, 16th Round -- I know he's moving back to defense or some other move designed to retard his development as a football player but who woundn't use there 16th round pick on a player if they knew they would get 33, 15 and 10 points in the first three weeks?. Virtually nothing after that, who cares? No one picked after him comes close to such production.

9. Ted Ginn, Jr, Fighting Farmers, 4th Round. I hate to have such high picks in the best picks but that's just the nature of the beast this year. Ginn is first WR selected in the draft (among those not kept) and he is the highest scoring WR in the league (tied with Manningham).

8. Logan Payne, Halifax Spitfires, 11th Round -- Payne is the 9th WR off the board. Those selected ahead of him include missing person and teammate Ernie Wheelwright, Shaun Herbert, Jeremy Scott, Herb Grigsby, and PSU disappointments Deon Williams and Derrick Butler (whatever). Payne has more fantasy points than both of the WR who were kept this season, Dorion Bryant and James Hardy.

7. Adrian Arrington, Golden Goblins, 15th Round -- Arrington has been the benificiary of Mario Manningham's injury. After scoring zero points in the first three games, Arrington has not scored less than 7 since. That's good enough to make him the 11th highest scoring fantasy reciever despite being the 15th off the board. His future certainly looks bright and could push for a keeper spot on the Goblins.

6. Damien Sims, Golden Goblins, 9th Round -- Another benificiary of an injury. Sims has taken advantage of a hobbled Albert Young to score 82 fantasy points and turn in a top 10 fantasy year so far. He was the 17th RB selected, behind such fantasy and Big Ten non factors as Chris Wells, Lance Smith, Kevin Grady, EJ Jones, Austin Scott, and DeMetrius McCray.

5. Anthony Gonzalez, Golden Goblins, 14th Round -- Gonzalez could easily be ranked even higher. Selected after such WRs as Greg Orton, Steve Breaston, Shaun Herbert, Jeremy Scott, Herb Grigsby and PSU disappointments Derrick Williams and Dion Butler (or whatever). All Gonzalez has done is score 97 points while putting together the 3rd best fantasy year for a WR. Also selected ahead of Gonzalez: Brian Hoyer, Tim Brasic, Shonn Greene, Evan Royster, Carlos Brown, Brandon Minor, John Stocco, Mike Kafka, Dywan Rowan, Brandon Roberson, well, you can see why it is going to be a long Worst of 2006.

4. PJ Hill/Tony Pittman, Halifax Spitfires, 1st and 2nd Round -- A pair of early picks gets the nod here because Andy gets the highest scoring player in the BTFFL in Hill with the first pick. You can not do any better than that, although you can do much worse. And Pittman, selected in the second round after Chris Wells is a gutsy second pick that also just happens to be the right on. Pittman is running neck and neck with Tony Hunt for the 3rd highest scoring RB and I'd guess that by seasons end he will have outscored Hunt. Either way, Andy gets the core of his likely BOB team with these picks. One can easily imagine a worse set of picks submarining his team.

3. Juice! Bucky's Goodgers, 10th Round -- The only appearance in the Top 10 best picks for the Goodgers, Juice! comes in at 3 based on his taking over the Illinois job much sooner than any expected and looking like he'll be a keeper for as long as he plays college football. Despite not starting the first 2 games, Juice! is the 7th ranked BTFFL QB and has looked better and better with each passing week. Passing week, ha, ha, that's funny.

2. Amir Pinnix, 7th Round, Golden Goblins -- A forgotton man, or at least suspect starter, on draft day. Pinnix has clawed his way to the top of the Gopher depth chart and has produced numbers that make him the 7th highest scoring back in the BTFFL. He has more points than BTFFL keepers Albert Young and Tyrell Sutton. He was selected after Chris Wells, Javon Ringer (inj.), Pierre Thomas, Lance Smith, and Kevin Grady.

1. Mario Manningham, 7th Round, Halifax Spitfires -- Looking at the top 4 best picks, it is apparent why the Spitfires appear poised to get to the BOB for the first time in their history. Manningham, or Touchdown!, completes the core of Spitfire starters. He is the BTFFLs highest scoring reciever, selected after the disasterous 6th round trio of Butler, Williams and Grigsby(!). Despite his injury, which has caused him to miss three games, he remains the highest scoring WR in the BTFFL. If he had not been injured, he'd likely be scoring on par with top 5 RBs in the BTFFL. In any case, he's a Sophomore and he'll certainly be a keeper. Adding insult to injury to the rest of the BTFFL is the fact that he was on every roster last year -- starting with the Goblins, who cut him, moving to the Goodgers, who traded him, and ending up with the Farmers, who didn't keep him, along the way passing through his eventual destination: The Litter Box. I expect to be watching him catch Touchdown! after Touchdown! for more a couple more years and being annoyed that I picked Herb fucking Grigsby over him in the 2006 BTFFL draft.

If I have the time, watch for the carnage that is the Worst of the BTFFL Draft.