Uni Watch's in-box nearly overflowed on March 15. The reason? This report out of Minnesota, which says the Vikings are planning new unis, with an increased purple presence, for next season.
Based on what Uni Watch has heard, it's a good bet that the Vikes will be reviving their long-lost purple pants (which most fans have only seen in the highlight video of Jim Marshall's famous 1964 wrong-way run). That would be bad enough, but there's also talk that the team may go purple-on-purple.
Fortunately, Uni Watch has been preparing for this catastrophic possibility for years, and the impregnable concrete bunker -- fully able to withstand the effects of WMDs (that's wardrobes of monumental disgustingness) -- should be completed and fully stocked with water, canned goods and striped socks by the time the NFL season opens.
But mark Uni Watch's words: If the Ravens also add purple knickers, and if they then play the Vikings in a purple-pants smackdown, it'll take a lot more than a subterranean bunker to save us.
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